Okay, so here we go. My first blog. Let me introduce myself.... I'm you. I'm you if you're a loving, hard-working single mom, struggling through what legal professionals refer to as a "high-conflict" divorce. Are you frustrated with the family court system and the constant, energy-draining, often-times hopeless feeling fight over custody, child support, visitation, and the well-being of your precious children? If you answered yes, then I am in fact you.
I am here to tell you, "Guess what? You're not alone!" It's true! I know it feels like you are. "How on earth could I have married the one craziest man on earth?" "No one else I know seems to be going through this." "Why do everyone else's husbands seem normal and mine is so messed up in the head?" "Yay for me. I drew the short straw."
Believe it or not, you're actually one of millions. That's right, I said millions! I did the math. Let me 'splain.
My personal situation: The man I am divorcing is the poster child for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I mean, look it up in the dictionary and there's his picture. After several years of a marriage that involved cheating, lying, verbal and emotional abuse, failed counseling, separation, I got caught in the whirlpool of a family legal system that has fallen prey to the manipulation tactics of millions of narcissistic abusers like my ex. I lost the custody fight and with it the child support fight. (I filed for court ordered child support, he got mad, hired a lawyer, and away we go....) I has nothing to do with the money for me. It's about providing a safe, good life for my children. For him, it's about control. (It always is, right?)
That's when I started my research. I know I've only scraped the tip of the iceberg so far, but let me tell you what I've learned so far: the statistics.
The Amercian Psychological Association estimates that 1% of the US population (over 300 million people) are diagnosed narcissists. One statistic I read said 6%. Considering the difficulty in diagnosing NPD (they rarely seek help on their own because they think they're always right), I'm sure that the 6% is more accurate. Let's round it to 5%, just for the math's sake. So, 5% of 300 million is 15 million. Now, let's be generous. The US divorce rate is about 50%. Now I'm sure that more than 50% of marriages involving narcissists end in divorce (there are so many other factors out there), but just for now, we'll factor in the average divorce rate to that 15 million so now we have 7.5 million. Now, here's one more factor for you. Every stastic I've read estimates that of diagnosed NPD's, 75% are men. (Men, I'm not picking on you. It's just the facts.) So, now we have 5.625 million. Let's round that up to an even number: 6 million. Precious, you are NOT ALONE. You are one of an estimated six million mom's in this country who are in this battle. Just doing the basic math, for me, that makes me on of probably about 1200 moms IN MY COUNTY ALONE in my situation. What I wouldn't give for a meeting with those 12oo amazing women. Wow. Staggering.
I've wrestled with this issue for a long time now. Years now. Today I decided to start this blog. I want to share information, experience and encouragement. If you're me, please stay tuned. Let me hear from you, too. I'm you, and you're me, so let's help each other along through this. :)
Just another thing, my main source of encouragement, alongside my family and friends is the Bible. That's right. I love Jesus. I will not be shy about talking about Him on here or posting things that I read from the Bible. That being said, please don't shy away from here if you're not a Christian. If you believe something different than me, I completely respect your right to believe that. I won't argue with you, and I won't berate you. I do believe what I believe , so please don't try to convert me or convince me that I'm wrong. I will pray for you, for Blessings to overtake you, and I will give my absolute best to encourage you. :) Thanks for reading!!
Love and Hugs!!!!
MWP
(Mom, Warrior Princess)
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